A growing body of research suggests that maintaining an attitude of gratitude can improve psychological, emotional and physical well-being.
Adults who frequently feel grateful have more energy, more optimism, more social connections and more happiness than those who do not, according to studies conducted over the past decade. They're also less likely to be depressed, envious, greedy or alcoholics. They earn more money, sleep more soundly, exercise more regularly and have greater resistance to viral infections.
Now, researchers are finding that gratitude brings similar benefits in children and adolescents. Kids who feel and act grateful tend to be less materialistic, get better grades, set higher goals, complain of fewer headaches and stomach aches and feel more satisfied with their friends, families and schools than those who don't, studies show.
'A lot of these findings are things we learned in kindergarten or our grandmothers told us, but we now have scientific evidence to prove them,' says Jeffrey J. Froh, an assistant professor of psychology at Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y., who has conducted much of the research with children.
'The key is not to leave it on the Thanksgiving table,' says Robert Emmons, a professor of psychology at the University of California-Davis and a pioneer in gratitude research. And, he notes, 'with the realization that one has benefited comes the awareness of the need to reciprocate.'
It's possible, of course, to over-do expressions of gratitude, particularly if you try to show it with a gift. 'Thanking someone in such a way that is disproportionate to the relationship -- say, a student giving her teacher an iPod -- will create resentment, guilt, anger and a sense of obligation,' says Dr. Froh.
Gratitude can also be misused to exert control over the receiver and enforce loyalty. Dr. Froh says you can avoid this by being empathic toward the person you are thanking -- and by honestly assessing your motivations.
In an upcoming paper in the Journal of Happiness Studies, Dr. Froh and colleagues surveyed 1,035 high-school students and found that the most grateful had more friends and higher GPAs, while the most materialistic had lower grades, higher levels of envy and less satisfaction with life. 'One of the best cures for materialism is to make somebody grateful for what they have,' says Dr. Froh.
Much of the research on gratitude has looked at associations, not cause-and-effect relationships; it's possible that people who are happy, healthy and successful simply have more to be grateful for. But in a landmark study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2003, Dr. Emmons and University of Miami psychologist Michael McCullough showed that counting blessings can actually make people feel better.
As simple as it sounds, gratitude is actually a demanding, complex emotion that requires 'self-reflection, the ability to admit that one is dependent upon the help of others, and the humility to realize one's own limitations,' Dr. Emmons says.
Being grateful also forces people to overcome what psychologists call the 'negativity bias' -- the innate tendency to dwell on problems, annoyances and injustices rather than upbeat events. Focusing on blessings can help ward off depression and build resilience in times of stress, grief or disasters, according to studies of people impacted by the Sept. 11 terror attacks and Hurricane Katrina.
Can people learn to look on the bright side, want what they have and be grateful for it? Experts believe that about 50% of such temperament is genetic, but the rest comes from experience, so there's ample opportunity for change. 'Kids and adults both can choose how they feel and how they look at the world,' says Andrew Greene, principal of Candlewood Middle School, who says that realization was one of the lasting legacies of Dr. Froh's research there.
For older children and adults, one simple way to cultivate gratitude is to literally count your blessings. Keep a journal and regularly record whatever you are grateful for that day. Be specific. Listing 'my friends, my school, my dog' day after day means that 'gratitude fatigue' has set in, Dr. Froh says. Writing 'my dog licked my face when I was sad' keeps it fresher. Some people do this on their Facebook or MySpace pages, or in one of dozens of online gratitude groups. There's an iPod app for gratitude journaling, too. The real benefit comes in changing how you experience the world. Look for things to be grateful for, and you'll start seeing them everywhere.
Delivering your thanks in person can be particularly powerful. One study found that fourth-graders who took a 'gratitude visit' felt better about themselves even two months later -- particularly those whose moods were previously low.
Adopting a more upbeat mind-set helps facilitate gratitude, too. Instead of bonding with friends over gripes and annoyances, try sharing what you're grateful for. To avoid sounding boastful, focus on giving credit to other people, as in, 'My mom took a whole day off from work to get to my game.'
Studies show that using negative, derogatory words -- even as you talk to yourself -- can darken your mood as well. Fill your head with positive thoughts, express thanks and encouragement aloud and look for something to be grateful for, not criticize, in those around you, especially loved ones. New York psychiatrist Drew Ramsey says that's an essential tool for surviving the holidays. 'Giving thanks for them helps you deal with the craziness that is part of every family,' he says.
Last, if you find you take too much for granted, try the 'It's a Wonderful Life' approach: image what life would be like without a major blessing, like a spouse, a child or a job.
感
恩确实有益健康。不断有研究提出，保持感恩态度可以增进心理、情绪和精神健康。
过去10年进行的多项研究表明，经常充满感激之情的成人比不这样的人拥有更多活力、更多乐观、更多人际交往，以及更多的幸福感。他们抑郁、嫉妒、贪婪或嗜酒的可能性也更少。这些人挣钱更多，睡眠更深，锻炼更频繁，还拥有更强的抗病毒感染能力。
Michael Rubenstein for the Wall Street Journal
纽约州霍夫斯特拉大学心理学助理教授弗罗一天中最喜欢做的事就是在睡前给他四岁的儿子讲故事。
纽 约州Hempstead霍夫斯特拉大学(Hofstra University)心理学助理教授弗罗(Jeffrey J. Froh)说，这些发现当中，有很多都是我们在幼儿园期间学到的东西，或者是祖父母外祖父母告诉我们的，而现在我们拿出了科学依据来证明。弗罗的很多研究 都是在儿童身上展开的。
加州大学戴维斯分校(University of California-Davis)心理学教授、感恩研究先行者埃蒙斯(Robert Emmons)说，关键是不要到感恩节才感恩。另外他还提到，一个人意识到自己受惠于人，就会意识到报答的必要性。
当然，表达感谢也是有可能做过头的，特别是如果你想通过送礼来表达感谢的话。弗罗说，如果感谢某人的方式与两人的关系不相称，比如说学生向老师赠送iPod，那就会引起怨恨、愧疚、愤怒和一种义务感。
感恩同样有可能陷入对接受感恩的人施加控制、并强迫对方对自己保持忠诚的误区。弗罗说，你可以将心比心地为你要感谢的人考虑，并发自心内地判断自己的本意，从而避免犯下这样的错误。
在 即将发表于《幸福研究杂志》(Journal of Happiness Studies)的论文中，弗罗及其同事对1,035名高中生进行了调查，发现最感恩的学生朋友更多，成绩也更好，而最物质主义的学生成绩更低，更容易嫉 妒，对生活的满意度更低。弗罗说，对物质主义的最佳疗法之一，是让人对其拥有的东西充满感激。
很大一部分感恩研究考察的都是关联性，而不 是因果关系；其实可能只是快乐、健康和成功的人要感谢的东西更多。但在《人格与社会心理学杂志》(Journal of Personality and Social Psychology) 2003年发表的一篇里程碑意义的研究中，埃蒙斯和迈阿密大学(University of Miami)心理学家麦卡洛(Michael McCullough)证明，“知福”确实可以让人感觉更好。
埃蒙斯博士说，感恩听起来简单，实际上它是一个需求很高的、复杂情感，要求人们进行自我反省，要有能力承认个人依赖于其他人的帮助，并要谦卑地意识到一个人的局限性。
感恩还让人们克服心理学家所说的“负面倾向”，即胶着于问题、恼怒和不公平而非积极乐观情况的固有倾向。根据对受911恐怖袭击事件和卡特里娜飓风影响的人们的研究，注重发生在人身上的正面的事情，可以帮助抵御忧伤情绪，并在有压力、悲伤或遭受灾难的时候增强韧性。
人 们能学会关注光明面，想要他们已经得到的并为此感恩吗？专家认为，这种性格特征有一半是遗传的，其余来自于经验，所以有充足的机会可以改变。 Candlewood中学校长格林（Andrew Greene）说，儿童和成年人都可以选择如何感受和看待世界，他说“意识到幸福”是弗罗博士研究结果的持久遗产之一。
对于岁数稍大的儿 童和成年人来说，培养感恩的一个简单方式是真正数数你的好事。记日记并定期记录当天你感恩的事情。要具体。弗罗博士说，日复一日列出“我的朋友、学校和 狗”意味着“感恩疲劳”。如果在日记里写上“我的狗在我悲伤的时候舔了我的脸”就让人耳目一新。一些人在他们的Facebook或MySpace页面里， 或是在线感恩小组里这样做。现在还有一个iPod感恩日记应用程序。真正的好处是改变你对世界的感受。寻找可以感恩的事情，然后你会处处都能看到可以感恩 的事情。
亲自表达感谢尤其有力量。一项研究显示，四年级学生进行“感恩访问”后，即使在两个月后他们仍对自己感觉良好，尤其是那些此前情绪不佳的人。
采取更乐观的思维模式也可以激发感恩。不要跟朋友一起发牢骚或表示愤怒，而要试着分享你感恩的事情。为了避免听起来像是自吹自擂，你要注重于赞扬其他人，比如，“我妈妈请了一整天的假，来看我的比赛。”
研 究发现，使用负面、贬损的语言，即使你对自己说，也会使你的心情变糟。在你的头脑里装满积极的思想，大声表达感谢和鼓励，寻找你周围可以感恩，而不是批评 的事情，尤其是你热爱的人。纽约精神病专家拉姆齐（Drew Ramsey）说，这是度过假期的基本方法。他说，感谢他们帮你应对日常家庭生活中必不可少的烦心事。
最后，假如你认为很多东西都是理所当然，那么就试试“人生真美好”这样的方法：相像如果没有配偶、孩子或工作这样的好事情，你的生活会是什么样。
Melinda Beck
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